


It's Cold

by QuicheKolgate



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Complete, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, How Do I Tag, based off a tumblr post i saw once, because its pretty lame, dont judge by the title, its just funny, its my first voltron fic too, its not romantic, klance if you squint and tilt your dead to the left a bit, not really tho, so dont judge me too harshly, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 21:04:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9516152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuicheKolgate/pseuds/QuicheKolgate
Summary: Based off tumblr post: 'i just had the stupidest fucking idea of team voltron hanging out on an ice planet for whatever reason and someone daring someone to lick shiro's arm to see if ur tongue gets stuck to it and it DOES and someone is just stuck to shiro's arm at the awkwardest fucking angle ever and the mission is literally called off because everyones laughing so hard even shiro except the person whos tongue is stuck is crying but in hindsight is rly fucking hilarious'





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all, thanks for taking the time to read this actual shitpost, I really appreciate it, so yeah.. Thanks and enjoy!

  Lance shivered as the icy wind blew, chilling him to the bone. He huffed, pouting. "Why are we here, again?"

  Pidge was tinkering with a device of some sort, trying to get it working- though he was pretty sure the circuits had froze. "For the _hundredth time_ , Lance," she grumbled, "Allura said there's some special ice crystals on this planet that we need to collect. Something stopped working in the castle and needs the crystal's power- or- something- gah!" She shouted and threw the device down into the snow. "It's too cold down here, it's frozen."

  " _I'm_ frozen!" Lance whined, receiving collective glares from the other paladins. "We're all cold, Lance. Quit complaining so much." Keith retorted. Lance rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Mullet."

  " _Lance- _"__

  "Hey, uh, do you guys think this snow tastes different from Earth snow?" Hunk hastily interrupted. "Hunk, don't eat the snow," Pidge had resorted to sitting on a nearby rock, once again trying to get her crystal finder to work, Shiro watching curiously over her shoulder. Hunk sulked and plopped down in the deep snow, "I'm not going to, I was just wondering." He lay back into the snow, moving his arms and legs to make snow angels. Keith frowned and looked his way.

  "Hunk, what are you doing?" Hunk paused his movements and smiled up at him. "Making snow angels!"

  "Snow angels?" Hunk laughed, moving his arms and legs again. "Yeah, man! Snow angels!" Lance scoffed and propped his elbow on Keith's shoulder, slightly leaning on him. "You might as well be speaking gibberish, Hunk. Of course Keith here doesn't know what a snow angel is. He lives in a shack in the dirt."

  "Sand-"

  "Clean dirt, whatever."

  Keith glared and shoved Lance away. "I swear to God, Lance-" Shiro cut him off, "Guys, knock it off." Just then, Pidge shot up, waving the crystal finder above her head, "I got it! It's working!"

  "Great!" Hunk got up from making his snow angel, brushing away clinging snow. Pidge began walking, all focus on the finder, the other paladins following close behind. Lance bumped Hunk's arm with his own, "Hey, Hunk, my main man," Hunk smiled, "Hey Lance."

  "So, listen. You know how when it's cold enough and you lick a metal pole, your tongue gets stuck?" He glanced up at Hunk, grinning with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

  "Yeah-?" Hunk answered, slightly uneasy of the look Lance was giving him, but nervously excited at the same time. "Well, I just so happened to notice Shiro's arm is made of metal-" A snort came from in front of them, and without glancing back or turning around, Keith spoke, "Great observation, genius." Lance stuck his tongue out at the back of Keith's head, glaring daggers. "Anyways, _Hunk_ , Shiro has a metal arm, so what I was thinking-"

  "But who would do that??"

  "Who would do what?" Shiro glanced back towards the two. lance grinned, "Lick your arm to see if their tongue would stick- like with a metal pole in the cold." Keith rolled his eyes. "Really? It's kind of obvious that it would, Lance." He turned to face the blue paladin, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. Before Lance could respond, Pidge spoke up. "I dare Lance to do it."

  It was quiet for a second, before Lance shouted, "What? No, wait, I was gonna dare like, Keith to do it! I don't want to-"

  "Why not? Oh, right, because it's the exact same as licking a pole." Keith said.

  "Is not!" Lance retorted. "Then prove me wrong, cargo pilot." Lance's cheeks and ears flamed up. "Fine!"

  "Wait, wait, shouldn't I have a say in this? It's my arm," Shiro stated, stepping back. "Oh come on, Shiro! What's the worse that can happen? Pidge was grinning wide.

  "He can get stuck?" He responded, subconsciously rubbing his Galra-tech prosthetic arm. "But maybe I won't!" Lance argued, shooting a glare at Keith. Shiro sighed, and gave in. "Alright, fine," He held out his arm, which Lance stared intensely at, determination burning in his eyes. He grabbed his arm by the wrist and licked his forearm. Midway through, Lance stopped. "Uh, guysss?" He glanced up at Shiro, and then around at the others.

  "I'n sthuck." Silence fell over the paladins for only a moment, before they all burst out laughing, save for Lance who was desperately trying- and failing- to unstick his tongue from Shiro's arm. "Guysss- Guysss! Sthhhop lauthing!! Help meee-!" Shiro moved his hands up to cover his face, thus tugging Lance up along with his arm. "Ow! Sthiro-!" Lance whined. "O-Oh, s-sorry, Lance-!" Shiro managed to get out between laughs.

  Even _Keith_ was laughing, tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he leaned on Pidge, who was nearly doubled over with her own laughter, for support. "I can't believe you actually- actually-! Hahahahaha!" She couldn't even finish her sentence. Shiro cleared his throat, trying to stifle the last of his giggles. "Paladins, we need to compose ourselves, a-and finish the mission." They all calmed down the best they could, trying with all their will power to not give into the undeniable humor of the situation, but when Shiro took one more glance at Lance, whimpering and still trying to free himself, he broke into uncontrollable laughter once again.

  Hunk snorted, "Lance, I'm sorry buddy, but it's too funny-!" He was holding his stomach, doubled over and laughing harder. Pidge had fallen to the ground, her face in her hands as she giggled uncontrollably, and Keith was wiping the tears from his eyes as fast as they came, as he tried to keep from laughing.

____________\-------_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Due to Lance getting his tongue stuck to Shiro's arm, the paladins had to call off the mission, being that they were unable to compose themselves long enough to get anything done, and Lance was almost useless, being stuck on such an awkward part of Shio's arm. After getting back to the castle ship, they were able to safely defrost Lance's tongue from Shiro's arm. It took a while for Lance to be able to properly speak, and even for the next few days afterwards, he sulked about as the other paladins (mostly Pidge and Keith) teased him about the incident.


End file.
